Tuesday, January 17, 2012

The Dumps

"THE HOLIDAYS" are over. All of them. Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's Day, and now even MLK Day, and I didn't blog a word about any of them. We didn't do much celebrating around here. In fact, we hardly noticed that any of the holidays came and went. "Bla" sums it up.

Now that we are halfway through the month of January, you'd think I'd be all bright eyed and bushy tailed, filled with new resolves, and bubbling over with hope for the year ahead. Strangely though, I am, well, still very much "Bla."

I'm not sure why I'm down in the dumps and out of such dumps I can't seem to drag myself. I don't believe any one particular thing has put me in this condition. No, it has been a combination of a whole bunch of stuff.  As my sweet and pious (and I mean that in a good way) sister put it, "2011 was the year from HELL." And for some unknown reason, there were enough sparks and embers left over to make the start of 2012 seem dark, scary, and smokey at best!

I know, this doesn't sound like me. I usually try to look on the bright side, right? So someone go head and slap me! Please! (Just don't everybody start ringing my door bell at once, okay?) I'm ready to feel happy about something, get excited about something, celebrate, and sing about something good! Oh HOW I'm ready! Unfortunately,  I've not been able to find that something.

I'm not ungrateful and I don't think I'm having a full blown pity party even though I do have a list of gripes. I know there are a lot of good things in my life. I am very blessed. Part of my dumpiness comes from sharing the hurts, disappointments, and burdens of others, not just my own.

If you feel like commenting and giving me all the pat answers that should fix my attitude problems, go right ahead. I'll consider that your "slap". (Insert smiley face.)

But what I really want to know from my readers is:
Honestly Now,
  • How do you deal with major disappointment? (especially if you are honest enough to admit that you feel that disappointed came from the hand of God)
  • Are you ever in the dumps and if so, what puts you there and how do you get out? 
  • Do you ever see hope in every one's future but yours? How do you deal with that?
  • Anything else you want to add here?

I really do want 2012 to be a better year. I'm praying for that. I'm praying for hope. Rain. Joy. Encouragement. Answers. Blessings. Vision. Direction. ....And discernment--to know what I should do to be in the middle of God's work and what I should NOT do so as not to get in His way!
Pray with me won't you?

Maybe I will get back before three more month waste away. You can anticipate a post about a  journey of self-discovery a friend of mine has encouraged me to take. I'll post more about it later because now I need to rush out the door to work. (#1 on my list of gripes).



Edie said...

Let me be the first comment to brighten your day. :)

First, to answer your questions:
1. I wrestle with God, rest, wrestle with Him again, repeat. I'm sure you're doing the same thing. I think wrestling with God is part of our Faith walk. Or learning to walk by Faith. It's a yucky process but it seems to be beneficial.

2a. YES!
2b. Usually circumstances but sometimes I don't know.
2c. See #1. :)

Turning on worship and praise music loud and singing and dancing before the LORD will always make me feel better even though the circumstances don't change.

I keep sending the question marks up to God. He hears the questions I can't even form. (you too)

I think about the times that God came through for me. Remind myself that He has never failed me. Say out loud that I choose to trust Him. Tell Him how I feel about where He has me (and all the other thoughts that run through my mind).

Ask Him to help me work with Him and not against Him. Cry. Sleep. Call in sick. :) Yes I think God has me take time off sometimes to rest. When Elijah was "in the dumps", God gave Him rest. Pay attention to the Scriptures He places before me. I have noticed that He often tries to encourage me.

3a. Yes.
3b. See #1. :\

I had a breakthrough today. Nothing changed. I just found His hand in my circumstances. And a renewed hope that no matter my circumstances, He will provide.

So I didn't tell you anything you didn't already know and this probably sounds like "bla bla bla". But still I know that He has not overlooked you. Keep wrestling, there is a blessing at the end.

I closed the host gator account. Let me know when you have your other blog setup and we'll get you going on that. Wish I had good words to make you feel better. ♥

I'm really looking forward to reading about your Journey!

Talkin' Texan said...

Thanks for your comments Edie! I really would like to get a good discussion on this one. I've lost most my readers so it may just be you and me! lol

I've been telling God how I feel. BOY have I been telling Him how I feel! ;) And I've been asking Him questions. BOY have I been asking Him questions! lol I'm so desperate, this morning I even tossed out a piece of fleece! And, as I've pondered the fleece thing, I've discovered that even "fleece" takes faith. (How often do you keep tossing it out and checking on it before you know whether God has answered you or is ignoring you?)

I'm thankful for you breakthrough. I prayed for your circumstances this morning.

Oh. And about that journey. It is meant to light the fire under YOUR feet. I intend to see the book completed by this time next year! I will need a steady fuel supply from your end to complete my journey. ;)

Alene said...

The Dumps!!! Yep, yep, yep been there. For me - I have to be conscience of controlling my thoughts which means spending much more time in God's word, which I don't feel like doing when I'm in the Dump. And then I also need encouraging time with friends. I have some great accountability partners I can be real with and they are awesome and helping me dig my way out of the dumps! Praying you see hope, faith, rain, and peace in your soul soon. Blessings friend.

Talkin' Texan said...

Thanks Alene,
I agree that time in the Word (and prayer) works. And isn't it odd that we tend to avoid both when we are down? I've learned that it is okay to say, "Dear God, I'm upset and I'm thinking I might just be upset with you." He already is aware...and He helps me work through it when I get honest with Him.

I'm glad you have accountability partners. What a blessing!

Thanks for the joining our discussion and for the prayer. :)

Panhandle Gal said...

I agree with your sister about 2011 (and, for us, 2010 & also 2009). I know that once I get past a particularly hard part, I look back and say, "Well, you just keep slogging forward until you get through it". However, when you're in the slogging part, that doesn't help. People ask how I'm doing and sometimes, depending on the person, I'll tell them the gory details, but I have to end the story with "Basically, it's just Life" if I'm honest with myself. I look around me and realize that pretty much everybody I know is dealing with something - some hide it better than others - some are on an even stretch for a while and others are sunk way deeper in the bog. I try to keep a firm grasp on the fact that God always gets me through whatever it is. It always seems to drag by much slower than I want, so I know that God operates on a different time frame than we do. Looking back, I can see how this event or that experience shaped me, but at the time, it seemed to last Forever. I think the older I get, the more I recognize that this life and the seemingly endless minutiae that I deal with every day are temporal. I still have to deal with all of it, but I try not to let it overwhelm me. This is the journey I am on right now, weeding through all the junk I've allowed to pile up and trying to focus more on my relationship with God and not taking His care for me so much for granted (though that is what has gotten me through the last few years). I'm trying to take a little more time for me, as well, minus the guilt of focusing only on me (gasp! not allowed according to the superwoman's handbook) so as not to lose my identity among all the claims on my time and mental processes. You would think I would have learned this already, but apparently Life's a journey, not a destination - it would be nice sometimes to "have arrived" but I think after resting a while, I would be seeking a new path. I don't know if this helps. I'll be praying for you - especially for your #1 gripe. Love you!

Talkin' Texan said...

Panhandle Gal, 2009 & 2010 have not been the best years in our lives either. Yeah, we are VERY ready for something to start looking up. I agree that time seems to crawl when we are going through difficult times. God definitely doesn't bother to make sure His plan matches up with our time-minder. :) And you are right. Everybody seems to be going through some tough stuff. It's just all different, but still tough. I too have found a very fine line between losing my mind because I never pay any attention to my own needs and feeling too self-absorbed. (guilt)
I think that when we can say we've "arrived" we will be walking the streets of Glory. Yes, life is a journey.
I think the key to surviving and coming out sane and in one piece is in your comment about putting more focus on our relationship with God. When we are busy looking TO Him and AT Him, all the other junk becomes a less significant part of our lives.
Thanks so much for your comments! And thanks for the prayers. :)