Monday, October 1, 2007

A little about myself

Am I the only one that hates being put on the spot? You know, when you are the visitor in a Sunday school class or find yourself in a break-out session at some convention, and someone says, "Okay, tell us a little about yourself." I usually end up telling more about my husband, kids, and grand-kids than I do myself. I think they are more interesting.

A few years ago when someone wanted to know a little about me, I'd start by saying, "I'm a stay-at-home, homeschooling mom of three wonderful children." But now that my children are all legal adults and none of them need mothering (or at least that's what they think), I'm a stay-at-home...

hmmmm....

Okay, so I don't do much except stay at home. I don't qualify exactly as an empty nester because the youngest of my legal age children is still in the nest, but "mom" isn't my primary job description any more. It's a good thing my baby is feeling more independent every day because sometimes hubby and I fly off, or rather drive away, and live and work far from home. We call our fifth wheel trailer home and put out all effort to be happy and content where ever it is parked.

No, we are not retired or independently wealthy travelers. Hubby's career as an insurance adjuster takes us coast to coast and boarder to boarder of this great nation--only as long as storms damage roofs and blow down fences. Too much fair weather sends us back to the nest unemployed. Everything about my day-to-day life is temporary and can change in an instant. There's no such thing as tenure. Is there any wonder I have security issues? One thing I've decided--this life style is not for the fainthearted.

I have known for a long time, but in recent years have rediscovered, that what I do is not necessarily who I am. Not an easy lesson to learn, I'm tellin' ya!

I've had at least a dozen different jobs in my life, and I've been a lot of things to a lot of people. I have stayed busy and contributed everything I could to every situation. Now, as the life season is changing, the reasons and opportunities for doing are drifting away. I'm forced to look more closely at who I am rather than what I do.

Who am I? I'm still in the discovery process. It's a journey. I don't think it's going to be a quick trip, but I'm sure it will be an adventure. Already I can tell you that all the self-examination stops along the way are, again, not for the fainthearted.

This is not to say that I'm courageous. Not at all! I haul around more fear, hang-ups, and insecurities than you can imagine. All that weight cuts my mileage and slows my progress. Nothing but God's grace gives me the power and strength to continue on. I have to fill my grace tank often.

So, there ya go--a little bit about me. I'm a middle aged woman in a state of constant change and uncertainty, trying to figure out who I am, why I'm here, and what my later life's purpose might be. Anything else you want to know, you're going to have to learn along the way as we journey together.  Please feel free to leave comments here telling me who you are, and I hope you enjoy the trip.

Lavonda

5 comments:

Karen said...

I tend to answer in the same way by telling what I do instead of who I am...loved your answer...especially liked the phrase..."fill up my grace tank"...oh yes...running on empty is no fun...

Talkin' Texan said...

Karen,
Thanks so much for reading and commenting! You always keep me encouraged.
Blessings to you, my sister in Christ!

Edie said...

I'm discovering that much of my self worth is still wrapped up in what I do.

I hope everything is going well for you.

Love you!

Anonymous said...

I like what you said:

"as the life season is changing, the reasons and opportunities for doing are drifting away. I'm forced to look more closely at who I am rather than what I do"

This is so true. I think it requires some thinking about...Deanna

Talkin' Texan said...

Edie, I'm praying for you right now that you will find your self worth in Christ and what He did for you! Love you too my friend!

Deanna, I agree. Some days it is a tough thing to ponder, but ponder we must. Good luck and let me know how it turns out. :) If you continue to follow my blog, you'll get bits and pieces, maybe even the whole picture of my ponderings. :)