Thursday, February 19, 2009

I'm a louse.

Take a human heart overfilled with love, bind it very tightly with 100 ropes of fear, soak it for eight weeks in a vat of volatile female mid-life hormones, sprinkle it repeatedly with bad news, injustice, and unpleasant surprises, stuff it in an earthen vessel with a really big mouth, then stomp on it! What do ya get? A knee-jerk reaction comparable only to the eruption of Mt. Saint Helens.

Last night a couple of my family members spent a lot of time and energy telling me what a louse I am and how badly I behave. In keeping with my 2009 resolve, they are right.

Though they have greatly misjudged the intentions of my heart, they have right to criticize my behavior.

So to those I love so deeply that I have hurt so badly, I say--I'm sorry.

If you can, through forgiveness, look past the crudeness an imperfections of the big mouthed clay pot, scrape off the layers of circumstantial crud, wash away the unstable hormones, and somehow cut through the tethers of fear, you will find more love, pride, encouragement, support, and hope than you can measure. I love you. I believe in you, and I'm proud of you because of who you are, not because of what you do. No other woman could have finer sons and daughters and I'm blessed to be married to a man that tells me when I'm acting like a jerk.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have an old broken jar that I need to hide away in the closet so it can cry itself to sleep.


Walter Mitty said...

This is a test. If it had been an actual comment it would seem like I just wrote to let you know that I don't know if you are a friend or a relative but either way I'm glad you are.

Verification Word Licalipl

Walter Mitty said...

Oh and by the way I don't know anyone who thinks you are a louse.
and I do know people who would be aware if you were. They would say you aren't perfect or that you loused something but not that you are a louse.

Verification word: reamesit

Losing Myself said...

This me wrapping my loving arms around you and telling you it's okay and everything will be alright.

sharilyn said...

what an honest and heart-felt post. i applaud your truthfulness and honest look at yourself... i cannot know if it is all true, or if there is a bit of enemy exaggeration involved (or a mix of both), but God always loves a contrite heart and helps us to sort it all out... take heart, my friend... i know you are loved. :)

Carol said...

Hi there! I saw that you had visited my blog - so like the faithful blogger I am - I followed myself to your post.

This spoke volumes to me as I have many of the same issues. I so want to have a pure heart and right motives but sometimes that gaping hole in my face gets in the way!

God bless you as you continue to become more like Jesus!

Brittney said...

You know the old saying " You only hurt the ones you love" I think this is because your loved ones expect so much more from you than others. We don't set out to hurt them...but expectations are not met and feelings are hurt. Just know that deep down you did not mean to hurt them...they will forgive you...and we all live to hopefully never make that same mistake again. I hope that whatever is going on will not last much longer. You and your family are in my prayers.

Talkin' Texan said...

Thank you all for your encouraging comments. I can so relate to Peter. He had a habbit of spouting off his mouth before putting his brain in gear. I'm a passionate person and we passionates have a problem with that. Jesus had to call him down a time or two if I remember correctly. I'm so glad I'm not the only one!
And yes my family knows how to forgive. They are the greatest!