Well, it is all over: Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's Day -- now today is January 2, 2008. Am I the only one that feels a sense of let-down? For weeks now we've had something to anticipate, something to look forward to, something for which we needed to prepare. But today, what is it that will keep me pressing on toward tomorrow, or the next day, or the day after that?
I really want to curl up and nap until life decides to offer me something worthy of my time and energy. I guess I'm getting old. Each year I find it harder to gather the courage and energy to run out and "grab life by the horns." I seem to want to just sit and wait. I don't know what I'm waiting on, but just sitting by and waiting is comfortable.
I guess I had better adjust my attitude a bit. I have no great hopes, dreams, aspirations, or expectations for 2008. I have no idea where I'm going or what I will do when I get there. (Has anything changed since I was 13?) I can't remember a time in my life when I truly lived "one day at a time" as much as I do now.
I feel kind of like those kids of Israel who wandered around in circles eating manna and quail, asking "Are we there yet?" It took them 40 years to get to where they were going. Gee whiz, I hope I can get things figured out and find my way to wherever I am supposed to be quicker than that! If not, I'll be too old to recognize my destiny! And I hate to think that I might be one to die in the desert of wandering.
What is the solution? What should I do to adjust my attitude? Hummm. Seek. Yes, that might just be the thing for 2008. Simply stop wandering around aimlessly and seek. Maybe that is why I feel like there is nothing to do but wait. Seeking is active, but it is not necessarily an activity. I can sit and wait while seeking. I don't have to grab life by the horns! Whew!!! So, I will press on toward tomorrow, looking for direction. I will seek a goal and an aspiration. I will seek a destination. (I just hope it doesn't take me 40 years!)
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